Saturday, February 04, 2006


Must’ve been a year ago, when I composed this completely rotten limerick:

A filthy young woman named Mabel
Liked to crap on the dining room table.
She would finish dessert
And then hike up her skirt,
Jump right up, and commence laying cable.

Thanks to Jim at Parkway Rest Stop, we now know that Mabel is a mere amateur. Michelle Hines - who probably should change her name to Hiney - has figured out how to lay enough cable in a single unbroken length to require a bowling alley to accommodate it.

Times like this, I purely love the Internet.

[Of course, some of us are unimpressed by mere length. I wonder what the world record is for girth?]

Want the whole story, with all the sordid details? And pictures, yet? Go ahead and click this link...but don’t say I didn’t warn you. I will not be responsible for any long- or short-term psychic damage that may result.

Update: Snopes may not have anything on Ms. Hines yet, but the Village Voice does. When I clicked on this link in the post [it’s just above the (gag) picture], these words caught my attention right away: “The work of Michelle Hines often employs strategies of willful fakery to accentuate particular human dynamics and responses.” [Emphasis mine.] And one of Acidman’s commenters, rightisright, came up with the Real Dirt.

Looks like Mabel still has a job. Wonder what a 26' fake turd would fetch on eBay?

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