Go to Rob Smith’s archives, say, beginning the first of the year.
Every place where it says anything alcohol-related, simply substitute the word “blogging.” F’r instance:
I liked it because YESTERDAY marked the ’leventy-’leventh (111) day since I last took a drink of alcohol. (I don’t intend to drink today, either.)becomes
I liked it because YESTERDAY marked the ’leventy-’leventh (111) day since I last wrote a blogpost. (I don’t intend to blog today, either.)[I leave it to my Esteemed Readers as an intellectual exercise to figure out how one posts about NOT blogging.]
It may have been at Rob’s site that I first noticed it, but the parallels between alcohol and blogging are non-trivial.
Both give you a short-term rush, a feeling of accomplishment that is utterly misplaced.
Both will gradually take over your mind until you become an unshaven, shambling heap, wandering from bar/Internet café to bar/Internet café (oh, those sweet, sweet wireless connections) muttering to yourself.
Now for some real fun, pick a random blogger and substitute masturbatory verbiage in lieu of any references to blogging. Because, after all, in so many ways, blogging is masturbation. Pulling the Creative Pud, so to speak. Whipping the Lizard of Attention-Seekage.
Let’s try something randomly selected from the Bloggy-Sphere:
Well I was in the middle of writing a piece of crap post when I realized that I am having another heart attack, ambulance is on the way. Just what the fuck I needed, will probably fuck up my weekend.Presto-Change-O:
Well I was in the middle of rubbing one out when I realized that I am having another heart attack, ambulance is on the way. Just what the fuck I needed, will probably fuck up my weekend.Comedy Gold, I tell ya. Why, it could be a...a...meme!