Dennis is a notorious chocolate-hater, which is fine with me, because it means he will not be competing with me for any portion of the world’s supply. So don’t expect to find any chocolate in this excellent recipe for
José Cuervo Christmas Cookies
1 cup water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup granulated sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup brown sugar
1 cup lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts (chopped pecans work well)
2 cups dried fruit
1 750 ml bottle José Cuervo Tequila
Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Cuervo again to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.
Turn on the electric mixer...Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add one teaspoon of sugar...Beat again. At this point it’s best to make sure the Cuervo is still OK, try another cup .just in case.
Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit, Pick the frigging fruit off floor... Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift two cups of sa! lt, or something. Who giveshz a sheet. Check the José Cuervo. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven.
Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don’t forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Cosé Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.