SPIT IT OUT

One of the guys in our morning minyan told me this story a while back. Supposedly it’s a true story, but I have my suspicions...

By way of background, Roy is a former New Englander who has boldly re-entered the world of Little Kid Daddyhood after raising adult children. He and his wife have three-year-old twin daughters, cute as the dickens. [Just how cute is the dickens, anyway? Oh, never mind.]

One day (so the story goes), Mrs. Roy was out for the evening, leaving Roy in charge of the dinner-fixing and child-monitoring activities. In lieu of the usual macaroni and cheese, or beanie weenies, or whatever the hell it is kids eat these days, Roy decided to get some venison out of the freezer and make Bambi-burgers.

As the girls started to chow down, they realized that something was...different about their hamburgers. They didn’t taste like regular hamburgers. So one of the girls asks Roy, “Daddy, what is this we’re eating?”

And this is where Roy decided to get cute and play the “What Izzit?” game. So he says, “See if you can guess.”

“Is it chicken?”

“No.”

“Is it beef?”

“No...but I’ll give you a hint. It’s something Mommy calls Daddy sometimes.”

Whereupon the little one turned to her sister and said, “Sarah! Spit it out! We’re eating assholes!”