LISTEN TO THIS

Wait’ll you hear what they did with my hair!

You won’t believe what my Auntie and my nutty Uncle did when they were here visiting a couple of weeks ago. They take me to this place... at first, I thought it was gonna be all fun and such, ’cause they had a table with Thomas [The Tank Engine. AKA “Crack for Toddlers.” - Elisson, with a tip o’ the fedora to the Bakerina] and all his friends for me to play with. But then it got all weird-like, ’cause there were these other kids who wanted to play with Thomas and Percy an’ all, and Aunt SWMBO made me share, and, like, I hated that... Yeah... Yeah... Dude, I know!

So, anyway, then they drag me off and make me sit in this weird-ass chair that looks like, oh, I dunno, some sort of race car... and then all of a sudden this wack bint with crazy-ass eyes starts wailin’ on my hair with scissors!... Yeah, that’s right... Yeah, I couldn’t believe it either!

Well, before you know it, the wack lady is done and she’s goin’ all Polaroid on my ass, and they got my Nummy shoved in the ol’ pie hole, so things are looking up. And on the way out, I caught a look in the mirror, and ya know? Different... but smoooove!

Peace out!