Wednesday, July 23, 2008


After a lengthy career in gastroenterology, he had grown increasingly frustrated with the medical profession. The ever-growing burden of paperwork; the incessant arguments with insurers; the avaricious pharmaceutical giants; the creeping dehumanization of high technology; these were all intolerable now. He closed his old practice and set off into the woods.

Forsaking modernity, he explored the ways of folk medicine. Acupuncture, reflexology, herbal remedies, macrobiotic diets, all yielded up their secrets to him.

When, after years of study, he discovered a long-sought-after cure for hemorrhoids, he was elated. Now he could proclaim himself the world’s foremost practitioner of Ass-Holistic Medicine.

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