Wednesday, February 06, 2008


There is an old joke - a Shaggy Dog Story - in which a young man hears that a wise guru possesses the secret of Eternal Life. He sets forth to find the guru and learn his secret.

He travels for days, flying to India, then hiking through the treacherous mountain passes of the Himalayas. Finally, after much painful struggle, he arrives at the cave where the ascetic guru is said to reside.

And sure enough, the old man comes out of the cave and greets his visitor happily. (He doesn't get too many of them.)

“How may I help you?”

The young man replies, “I hear that you possess the secret of Eternal Life. Would you be kind enough to share it with me, O Great One?”

“Oh, yes, indeed, yes.

“First, you must refrain from eating rich foods.

“Second, you must abstain from strong drink. You writing this down?”

“Yes, of course, O Great One.”

“OK. Third, you must avoid the company of fast women, women of questionable morals.”

“Right. No rich foods, no strong drink, no slutty women. And if I follow these instructions, I will live forever?”

The old guru shook his head sadly.

“No, my son. But it will seem like it!”

Well, it seems that one guru will not live forever: the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, who migrated to another plane of existence earlier today at the (estimated) age of 91.

The Maharishi (“Great Seer”), the world’s best-known advocate of Transcendental Meditation and one-time guru to music industry biggies such as the Beatles and Mike Love of the Beach Boys, died peacefully at his home shortly after his Dogma got hit by a Karma. He apparently did not have Transcendental Insurance.

Maharishi Mahesh Yogi
Maharishi Mahesh Yogi.
“I’m deader than your average Yogi!”

Yogi Bear
“Hey, there, Boo-Boo! That’s my line!”

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