IRONY

A diet rich in irony will keep you young.

This morning, Pill-Pushin’ Barney - one of my regular Breakfast-Compadres - was describing the latest pile of stuff he had sold on eBay.

Barney, it should be explained, is a pharmacist. In his spare time, however, he earns a little extra coin by trading antiques and other crap. With all the old junk and miscellany he buys and sells, I’m tempted to start calling him “Rubble Barney.” Lately, he has also become something of an eBay hound.

So here he is, telling us of his latest electronic Fire Sale.

Freeze-dried food. More freeze-dried food. Yet more freeze-dried food. An electric still for purifying water. Survival gear.

All of this stuff, it seems, had belonged to a survivalist, one of those whackos who squirrels away a huge Hoard o’ Necessities in the event the Apocalypse descends upon us. Barney snarfed it all up in an estate sale. The survivalist had not, as it were, survived.

Irony! It’s what’s for breakfast!