Saturday, September 16, 2006


It’s mid-September, and Fall is in the air.

Oh, we still will have our share of warm - nay, torrid - days in the weeks to come. But now, the night-time temperatures are beginning to dip into the low 60’s, even the upper 50’s. Just like spring in Saint John - but without the incessant drizzle.

It’s too early for frost to be appearing on the pumpkin, but one of the signs of the season is the sudden appearance of spiders. Big ones, too.

Yesterday evening, I noticed that there were two - two! - huge webs in the ivy at the side of our driveway. These were Orb Spider webs, with the classic round “spiderweb” shape - and a honkin’ humongous spider sitting comfortably in the center of each one. I dubbed them Boris and Boris II.

The light of the setting sun caught those diaphanous webs just right, so I ran to get my camera. After all, if Dax Montana can collect Buggy Photographs, so can I.

Boris the Spider

Boris the Spider

Boris the Spider

The Missus wanted to knock the webs down, but I dissuaded her. First, these spiders serve a valuable function, eating pestiferous Small Insects, mosquitoes, and the occasional wayward poodle. Second, they were, located as they were at the side of the driveway, not in anybody’s way. And third, as long as the webs were up, I knew where these big guys were.

Fast forward to later in the evening, as our friends Laura Belle and Don were getting ready to depart after having dinner. Upon opening the front door, they were greeted by a huge web that another Orb Spider had constructed - sometime after their arrival only three hours before.

Borisovich the Spider

Jebus! The last thing you want to do is to walk out your front door and get a face full of spiderweb - especially with a nice, big, excited spider in the middle of it. Yeef!

Borisovich - for so I named him - had to go. His fatal mistake was one the Spider Realtors could have drilled into him: Location, Location, Location. I was mercifully quick...but I was ruthless. Eric would understand.

But this morning, I went to get the paper and Borises I and II were still fat and happy, their webs glistening with droplets of dew. SWMBO was kind enough to lend a hand so you could see how big these bad boys are.

Boris the Spider - Huge!

That’s not a quarter in SWMBO’s hand, Esteemed Readers - it’s a Kennedy half-dollar.

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