Tomorrow, September 19, is International Talk Like A Pirate Day, for those of my Esteemed Readers who keep up with such things.
It’s a perfect day to spend in Arrrh-kansas, eating Harrrh-vard beets, smoking cigarrrhs, drinking in barrrhs, and driving fast carrrhs. [The Oldsmobile Cutlass, unfarrrh-tunately now discontinued, comes to mind.]
It’s a good day to watch television, a medium famously characterized by the late FCC chairman Newton Minow as “Avast Wasteland.”
And it’s a good time for me to end this post, before I take things too farrrh.
Update: Commenters David and Nell* have been kind enough to remind me that Newton Minow is, in fact, very much alive. I am glad to hear it, even though his presence in this post is merely for the sake of advancing a stupid pun.
*Who oughta be in a position to know.