Saturday, December 31, 2005

2005 - AVE ATQUE VALE

It’s the last day of 2005.

For many people, it is a year that will live in infamy. Hurricanes Katrina, Rita, and Wilma. A major U.S. city brought to its knees. Earthquakes, floods, typhoons, bad juju of all kinds.

In other words, a lot like every other year, but more so. And, as I am wont to say when I think about things like Rotten Years and Kidney Stones: This, too, shall pass.

On December 31, I prefer to spend more time thinking about the year to come than the year just past, for what is past is past. We cannot change it now, but we can affect what happens next.

This New Year’s Eve is special, however, and I will allow myself to indulge in a little reflection. For tonight marks the thirtieth anniversary of the day I met The Woman Who Would Become The Missus. She Who Must Be Obeyed, SWMBO her ownself.

I will not bore you with all the gory details of our first evening together. [If you’re really interested, the whole story can be found in the Archives.] Suffice it to say that we met, we liked each other, things worked out.

And here we are, thirty years later.

This morning, I was upstairs changing clothes after making an early exit from synagogue. The happy voices of a house full of people wafted up the stairs. There was William, our three-year-old nephew. There were Morris William (SWMBO’s younger brother) and his wife Rebecca. Elder Daughter and her boyfriend Khody. The Mistress of Sarcasm and her boyfriend Mickey. And, of course, She Who Must Be Obeyed.

Elder Daughter, the Mistress, and Cousin William.
Elder Daughter, the Mistress of Sarcasm, and Cousin William.

I thought back to that fateful day, all those years ago. Could I possibly have imagined being here today, hearing the voices of my own grown children? The children I would one day have with the lovely young lady sitting on that ratty sofa with me?


She Who Must Be Obeyed, my love for 30 years.

So it’s more than just a New Year’s Eve for me. I’ll spend the evening with the Missus, with my children and their Significant Others, and with good friends. The Texas contingent having gotten on the road this afternoon, they will be here in spirit if not in person. And I will drink a toast to the woman I love and the life we built together, in a three-decade stretch that began thirty years ago this very night in Houston, Texas.

Happy New Year to you, too, Esteemed Readers. May your 2006 be happy, safe, and healthy, without limit to any good thing.

Friday, December 30, 2005

FRIDAY RANDOM TEN

It’s Friday, December 30, the penultimate day of 2005. With the year rapidly coming to a close, what’s on the iPod d’Elisson Random Playlist today? Let’s just take a look...
  1. Willy Wonka Theme - Marilyn Manson
  2. Khasene Tantz - The Klezmer Conservatory Band
  3. Matchbox - The Beatles
  4. Klezmer - Itzhak Perlman
  5. Act I, Scene 3: “Mr. Premier, distinguished guests...” - Orchestra of St. Lukes with Alice Goodman, Nixon in China
  6. Circus is Coming to Town - Laurence Simon
  7. The Lemon of Pink - The Books
  8. All Together Now - The Beatles
  9. Der Gasn Nign - The Klezmer Conservatory Band
  10. Black Satin - Miles Davis
It’s Friday. What are you listening to?

CUP O’ TH’ IRISH

With the small army of Relatives and Visitors camping out at Chez Elisson this week, we have evolved a pleasant Evening Ritual.

I have taken to brewing a nice, strong pot of coffee, with which I make a boatload of Irish Coffee. There is no finer beverage on a cold, damp night: it will chase away any and all Wintry Evils. And it’s easy. Here’s how.

Brew up a pot of strong coffee, using freshly-ground beans if at all possible. The coffee must be good enough to stand on its own, and strong enough to walk around the house on its own.

For each cup of Irish Coffee, while the brewing is going on, throw in three or four cubes of Demerara sugar. I use the cubes because it’s more convenient, but suit yourself. Regular turbinado sugar is a (marginally) acceptable substitute if Demerara cannot be found.

On top of the sugar, pour in one good shot of Irish whisky. Jameson’s and Tullamore Dew both work well - the latter is a bit more full-bodied - but any good Irish whisky will work. Let this sit while you prepare the whipped cream.

Take a cup of ice-cold heavy whipping cream and add in a tablespoon of confectioner’s sugar and 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract. Whip (I use a hand-held drink aerator if I’m making small amounts) until the cream forms soft peaks: do NOT overbeat, or you will end up with something that tastes more like butter than cream. Feh.

Fill each cup with hot coffee, leaving a little head space for the cream. Stir well to dissolve the sugar. Spoon on a nice layer of the whipped cream and you’re ready for a few choruses of “Danny Boy.”

Irish coffee is traditionally served in glass cups, the better to show off the color contrast between the dark coffee and the layer of whipped cream. But any coffee cup or mug will do, as long as it is large enough. If you have a really large mug, increase the amount of booze and sugar accordingly, and hand over your car keys.

Do NOT try to take a shortcut and use a can of Reddi-Wip to top off your Irish coffee. To do so is a crime against nature, and you will be called to account for your sins.

FRIDAY ARK #57

The Friday Ark is boarding today for its last voyage of 2005.

Cap’n Steve, the Modulator his ownself, is once again the host for this Weekly Celebration of Miscellaneous Fauna. Visit and enjoy.

Thursday, December 29, 2005

HISTORY MUSEUM

With our entire Family Army o’ Visitation in tow, She Who Must Be Obeyed and I spent a few hours at the High Museum of Art in midtown Atlanta today.

The High Museum is one of the genuine treasures of Atlanta culture. SWMBO and I don’t visit as often as we should, given the fact that it is all of a 40-minute drive from Chez Elisson, but the presence of out-of-town visitors is a powerful impetus to do the Things of Local Interest you don’t always make time to do.

The High has recently undergone a significant expansion, essentially doubling its size. A remarkable piece of architecture in its own right, now it’s downright humongous.

The Big Exhibit right now is a collection of Andrew “Mr. Obsessed With Death” Wyeth’s work. Crusty fishermen. Desolate landscapes. Strange-looking women with glistening eyes. Powerful art, the kind that brings out your Inner Norwegian, making you want to drink a lot of akvavit and commit suicide.

Well, not everybody has an Inner Norwegian. Nevertheless, Wyeth has painted a lot of windswept, elegiac works that resonate with the Rural New Englander in all some a few a statistically insignificant minority of us. Which explains why Andy Warhol made all the money and had all of those New York art scene groupies while Wyeth had cold lutefisk to eat and a weird looking, dried up neighbor lady to paint pictures of.

Me, I wandered off and spent some time perusing the Howard Finster folk art, bizarre Local Stuff that was produced by a divinely-inspired backwoods nutcase. Finster’s work is authentically primitive, but it comes from the heart… or at least it did before the Big Art Money discovered him. Howard no longer walks this planet, but while he did, he certainly made it more interesting-looking.

As I was looking at one of Finster’s pieces – a multimedia extravaganza with woodburning, glued-on chunks of plexiglass, paint, ink, you-name-it, I was gripped by a strange sense-memory: the memory of the smell of burning wood from woodburning. It was clear, unmistakable. Who says art can’t talk to you?

I found my way to the ground floor, where there was a children’s play area – the perfect place for little Nephew William to work off some energy with his Daddy. As I watched the two of them horsing around, I saw an older African-American couple with a little boy, evidently their grandson. And there was something about the man, a tall, slender, well-dressed gentleman with a trim, grey beard, that was familiar.

As I looked at the man, I became convinced that I had seen him before. Only problem was, I couldn’t figure out where, or in what context.

Was he a musician? Was he an actor? He wasn’t instantly recognizable, but there was that nagging sensation of familiarity. I was sure of it.

And so, I walked up to him. What did I have to lose?

“Excuse me, but you look like someone I have seen before, but I just can’t put my finger on where. Is it possible that I might have seen you somewhere?”

And he answered, “Yes, I suppose it’s possible. I was one of the Little Rock Nine. I’m Terry Roberts.”

Indeed. The gentleman was none other than Dr. Terrence Roberts, one of the nine African-American high school students who were the first to attend the historically all-white Central High School in Little Rock, Arkansas in 1957, three years after the Brown vs the Board of Education of Topeka Supreme Court decision that paved the way for school desegregation in this country.

Little Rock Nine - September 1957
The Little Rock Nine (plus one) - September 1957.

What the Little Rock Nine did took amazing courage – not only theirs, but their families’. Imagine it: the Governor of Arkansas, Orval Faubus, called in the Arkansas National Guard to keep these kids out of school, whereupon President Eisenhower nationalized the Guard, sent them back to their barracks, and ordered in the 101st Airborne Division to guard them as they attended classes. Abuse, epithets, threats, loss of family employment – all of these, these students faced and overcame.

I shook his hand. “Nowadays, people have no idea what you went through, how much courage it took. It’s an honor to meet you.”

Dr. Roberts and his wife were in town visiting family – it was indeed their grandchild with them. Currently a resident of Southern California, he holds a degree in clinical psychology and is co-chairperson of the Masters in Psychology Program at Antioch University. He also does management consulting work, functioning as the official desegregation consultant for the Little Rock, Arkansas School District. He and his fellow Niners were in the papers a few months ago – probably that’s where I remembered seeing him – when statues of the group were dedicated in Little Rock, an event that made the national news.

Terrence Roberts
Dr. Terrence Roberts, today.

“Once in a while, I’ll be looking though a history textbook, and all of a sudden, I’ll see my face. It’s a strange feeling…”

What Dr. Roberts and the other members of the Little Rock Nine did, back in September of 1957, was an act of bravery commensurate with Rosa Parks refusing to sit in the back of the bus. Braver, even, because it was not a one-time act of rebellion, but a day-to-day, moment-by-moment ordeal.

We had gone to the High Museum to see Fine Art… but there we met a man who was a living, breathing part of American history.

ASSEMBLY

The carcasses hang on meathooks, the conveyor slowly winding its way through the processing plant.

Empty skins swing, pendulum-like, in a grotesque parody of the living.

The skins are taken off the hooks, grabbed roughly by inexpert hands. Innards are packed into the skins. Guts, a voicebox, a heart. Brains, cold and slippery to the touch, their convolutions glistening.

Crammed unto the bursting point with guts and other fell assemblages, the skins are sewn up, a Frankenstinian quilting bee. No electrodes protrude from the base of the neck, yet electrodes are there, hidden.

Money is exchanged. The glassy-eyed shambling horrors, fully assembled, are thrust roughly into the hands of their new masters. Their life of slavery has begun.

It is terrible, this Abbatoir-in-Reverse, this backwards slaughterhouse. I have seen enough. I run, screaming.

It is at that moment that I shout at the very heavens, swearing unto All that is Holy:

“I will never set foot in a Build-a-Bear Workshop again!”

CARNIVAL OF COMEDY #35

Motopolitico hosts this week’s Carnival of Comedy.

Moto is an interesting choice for host of CoC. He’s on his way to the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, a fact that helps explain why he chose not to publish four Carnival submissions on the grounds of “Filth Content.”

I’m surprised he published mine, seeing as how it contained the S-word. That’d be shit, Esteemed Readers.

Mine own opinion: If you want to host a Carnival - a Carnival of Comedy, in particular - be prepared to deal with the down and dirty. If you can’t handle it, back the fuck off and let someone else host.

Repent, Motopolitico!

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES #130

Get out your marshmallows, kids - it’s time once again for the weekly roundup of All Posts Bad and Bogus: the Bonfire of the Vanities.

This week, your host is Overtaken by Events, and all I can tell you is, you’ll have Iraqin’ Good Time.

LIVEBLOGGING FROM LENOX

The Pink Pig at Lenox Square
Going Hog Wild at the Mall.

I’m at the Apple store at Lenox Square Mall in Buckhead - the heart of Snazzy Atlanta. The machine? A dual-processor, 2.5 GHz Power Mac G5, with a honkin’ gigundo 30-inch Cinema HD Display. If I had a spare five large rattling around in my pocket, I could take this bad boy home.

Back in my Snot-Nose Days, it was model cars and chemistry sets. The toys have gone majorly upscale since then...and this one has enough raw computational power to have coordinated the Apollo moonshot. Yowza.

It’s got a cute little webcam attached to the top of the monitor. Dang - when you have one of these, it’s no longer necessary to use the office Xerox machine to photocopy your butt-cheeks - you can liveblog ’em!

I’d get one of these, if I could...if only to get Morris William, a confirmed Mac Die-Hard, to shut the fuck up about how wonderful they are. Yeah, OK, Morry - they are wonderful. Bite me.

Our main reason for going to Lenox Square was to give our nephew William a chance to ride the famous Pink Pig, a holiday-season institution here since 1953. Originally an attraction at the Rich’s Department Store downtown, the Pig has moved out to Lenox, where it is now associated with Rich’s corporate successor, the all-too-ubiquitous Macy’s.

The Pink Pig

William, as expected, had a blast riding the Pig, which is best described as a Kiddie Railway in the shape of a Giant Mutated Sow. The only hard part was explaining to him that he could not ride the Pink Pig continuously until the Sun expands, engulfing the Earth and becoming a white dwarf star. Kid, life is full of little disappointments like that; get used to it.

[Rabbinic note: It’s OK to ride on pig-shaped conveyances, as long as eating the flesh of an actual pig is not involved. And that, friends, would be perverse.]

After leaving the Apple store, we wandered around a bit, ending up in Anthropologie. Anthropologie is one of those fancy-pants clothing-and-tchotschke shoppes in which Vagino-Americans of all stripes enjoy pissing money away. Elder Daughter and the Mistress of Sarcasm were busily inspecting the wares there, while Khody (Elder Daughter’s Main Squeeze), Morris William, and I tried to keep each other amused by making Snarky Observations on the mall’s clientele and speculating on how rapidly our continued presence in Anthropologie would drain our testosterone reserves. We figured anything over 35 minutes and our dicks would be in danger of shrivelling up and dropping off.

Eventually, Khody and Morris William wen’ bag - no doubt getting antsy about that 35-minute limit - leaving me to take an impromptu snooze in a rock-hard chair.

Elisson Takes a Nap
An impromptu snooze. Is that a stream of drool?

Damn, but I love these Mall Expeditions.

HOW TO CHARM THE LADIES

Pardonnez Moi

Take some advice from Mr. Debonair:

If you want to be a big hit with the ladies, be prepared to wine ’em and dine ’em in style. And, of course, there’s nothing wrong with a little of the old Quid Pro Quo!

[A tip o’ th’ Elisson fedora to Morris William for this insightful and beautifully worded caption.]

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

PASS THE CRACKERS, PLEASE

The Last Supper of Jawja

A bunch of us Jawja apostles Blown-Eyed Blodgers got together for dinner a while back with one of our bestest buddies from the Old Country.

Well, it was more than just dinner...it was a whole honkin’ Passover Seder and Texas Jawja Hold-’Em Tournament. Unusual for a Seder, though, because there were only two Jews at the whole table, and I was one of ’em. See if you can guess who the other one was.

I’m easy to spot. I was having my halo dry-cleaned, so I’m the only one without a glowing nimbus around my head. Too bad, ’cause it’s a bitch to read the menu in the Last Supper Café what with the piss-poor lighting.

Of course, I’m the one who got stuck paying the check, which is why you see me reaching for that bag of silver under my robe. That’s also unusual, because Saint Sammy is the one who grabs the check most times, no matter how much we gripe and threaten.

Only problem afterwards - aside from the hangovers induced by the Chatham Artillery Punch - was getting all blocked up from eating all of that Unleavened Bread. Matzoh is famously constipating, you know. From this, Saint Catfish suffered mightily, on account of his ’roids.

And, yes, that was Chatham Artillery Punch in that chalice. Saint Velociman mixed up a Whole Holy Grail full. You were expecting maybe Manischewitz?

How many of these fine Apostles do you know?

[Tip o’ th’ Elisson fedora to Eric, who knows how to work miracles with Photoshop...]

DARK VISITOR

Neighbor in the Sunroom

The Mistress of Sarcasm arrived yesterday afternoon at Chez Elisson. Along for the ride was Neighbor, her cat.

Neighbor tolerated the four-plus hour drive reasonably well. Both Hakuna and Matata are basket cases whenever I transport them even the shortest distances, so the very concept of a cat that travels well is completely alien to me.

In a couple of weeks, when Dad - Eli, his ownself - and Toni make the trek from New York to Florida with their cat Sammy in tow, we’ll see just how rara an avis Neighbor is.

Meanwhile, we’ve got Neighbor confined to the sunroom for the time being. We want to give Hakuna and Matata - especially Matata, Queen of All She Surveys - a chance to get used to the idea that there's another kitty in the house before we turn Neighbor loose on ’em.

I wonder just how well they’ll get along. Matata came down earlier today and peered at Neighbor through the French doors. There was a lot of subvocal growling going on and some Puffy Tail Action as well. Heh.

Neighbor has a Genuine Fucked-Up Voicebox, which means she is the one cat who can make more noise purring than Matata. 'Ta sounds like a little motor almost 24/7, but when Neighbor gets the purr-box going, she sounds like an 18-wheeler carrying a load of live pigs locking up its brakes on a 45-degree downslope in a hailstorm.

Stay tuned. Things should start getting interesting by this afternoon.

Monday, December 26, 2005

SWEET SISTERS

Matata can be a little feisty, and sometimes she is mean to her sister Hakuna...

Sisters

but then there are times like this.

By the way: the title of this post is an arcane reference to a fantasy novel by a well-known author. If you know it, tell us all about it in the Comments. [Except you, Morris William.]

BOXING DAY

Today is Boxing Day, the day that follows Christmas.

Boxing Day, indeed. Last year, there were a lot of people being put into boxes...the ones that were not lost to the ravening sea. For it was a year ago today that one of the biggest disasters to take place in our collective lifetimes occurred in the Indian Ocean - the Great Tsunami of 2004 that claimed roughly 273,000 human lives.

Even as the survivors continue to try to put their lives back together, it is appropriate for us to remember those lost, and to reflect upon the fragility of our lives. Many of us are with family and friends as we celebrate our manifold Holiday Observances. Let us all be thankful that we are able to share their company.

A HOLIDAY TRADITION IS OBSERVED YET AGAIN

Yesterday evening, a small army of us gathered at the home of our friends Laura Belle and Don to celebrate the unusual confluence of Christmas and the first night of Chanukah.

Unusual, yes. It’s not uncommon for Christmas to fall some time during the eight days of Chanukah. Some years there’s no overlap at all, as was the case last year – but the last time the first night of Chanukah fell on Christmas Day was back in 1959. The next time won’t be until 2024, nineteen years from now - although in 2016, Chanukah will begin on Christmas Eve.

A tradition of long standing in our family is the annual Momma d’Elisson Memorial Chanukah Dinner. On the first night of Chanukah, we eat potato latkes – and takeout Chinese food. My Mom was a big fan of the takeout Chinese, a fine choice of Chanukah Cuisine because it’s fried (stir-fried counts, right?) – but we supplement it with potato latkes because, after all, it ain’t Chanukah without the latkes.

Latkes
Latkes: It ain’t Chanukah without ’em.

And, since it is a Jewish tradition of sorts to go out for Chinese food on Christmas, the fact that the holidays fell on the same day made our observance even more relevant.

Funny thing is, Laura Belle and Don are not Jewish. Anything but. They’re churchgoing Roman Catholics who had enough Jews eating off their Christmas china yesterday to make a minyan, the quorum of ten adult Jews required for public worship. Laura Belle even ordered up special yarmulkes for the occasion – red suede, imprinted especially for the occasion.

Bestest Buddies

Where else but in America? Where else can we, the Varied Products of a tolerant, pluralistic society, enjoy each other’s company and each other’s friendship without losing our own ethnic and religious identities? It’s not the kind of stuff that makes headlines at Fox News - the nation’s premier purveyor of discord and divisiveness - but it’s an everyday part of our lives.

William Fires It Up
Nephew William lights the first candle.

Lighting the Candles
Elisson sings Ma-oz Tzur (Rock of Ages).

We fired up candles on three – count ’em! – three Chanukah menorahs, complete with the appropriate blessings and recitations. The forms must, after all, be obeyed. And then it was time to eat.

Food there was aplenty, with the table groaning under the massive weight of SWMBO’s potato latkes, platters of Moo Shu Chicken, Mongolian Beef, Cashew Chicken, and fried rice. As if that were not enough, Laura Belle made up a couple of troughs full of lokshen kugel – traditional noodle pudding – and I roasted a whole beef tenderloin and cranked out some kick-ass horseradish sauce to go with it. SWMBO also contributed a humongous baked Brie en croute, because nothing says “stop your heart” like a honkin’ big wheel of semi-molten cheese encased in raspberry mustard and a pastry crust.

Meat, Meat, Meat
Meat: It’s (some of) what’s for dinner.

Dessert? Yes, there was some of that, too. Laura Belle is a fiend in the Dessert Kitchen, after all. There were cannoli, dreidel-shaped sugar cookies, sugar-dusted pizzelles, and al manner of miscellaneous sweet stuff.

“Miracle of Chanukah,” my ass. The fact that I am able to walk even now, after gorging like that, is the real stuff of miracles.

CARNIVAL OF THE CATS #92

Watermark hosts the ninety-second edition of Carnival of the Cats...with a holiday theme, yet!

Sunday, December 25, 2005

CHRISTMAS STORY

It’s Christmas morning, as good a time as any to extend my best wishes for a Merry Christmas to my Esteemed Readers of the Christian persuasion.

TBS, as recent custom dictates, is showing A Christmas Story around the clock. Like other Christmas-themed movies, A Christmas Story has entered the American Holiday Movie Canon, along with other seasonal films such as It’s A Wonderful Life, Miracle on 34th Street, et alia. That has special meaning for me - not because I am a particular fan of Things Christmassy, but because I have been an admirer of long standing of the works of Jean Shepherd.

Shepherd was one of the three credited screenwriters for A Christmas Story, and it is his “novel” In God We Trust, All Others Pay Cash that forms the basis for the film’s storyline. I say “novel” in quotation marks because In God We Trust... is more of an assemblage of short stories than a novel per se. And those of us who used to listen to Shep’s nightly broadcasts on WOR back in the late 1960’s were already familiar with many of those stories.

The Red Ryder BB gun story...and the scene at the Department Store Santa.

The fight with Scut Farkas and Grover Dill.

Flick sticking his tongue to the flagpole.

The invasion of the Bumpus Hounds. [Originally published as a short story in Playboy Magazine.]

It’s Shep’s voice you hear providing the narration, and during the Santa scene he does a brief cameo as the guy who tells Ralphie, “The line ENDS here. It begins THERE” as he points to the very end of a very long queue.

Back in 1970, my friend Walter and I attended a press conference Shepherd gave at the Overseas Press Club in New York. Walter is the guy who had turned me on to Shep’s radio show, and there was no way we were going to miss a chance to meet a guy who, even then, was a sort of Cultural Icon.

Here’s the letter we got from Shepherd - our Official Credentials, as it were. [Click to embiggen.]

Shep Letter


Complete with a real, honest-to-Gawd autograph from the guy who later wrote A Christmas Story:

Shep Signature

Flick lives! Yes indeedy.

Saturday, December 24, 2005

THE MYSTERIOUS LADY

Thoughful Hakuna

What is she thinking about, this Mysterious Lady?

Probably “food.” Or maybe, “When will this big ugly yutz the Benevolent Bifurcated God get out of my grille with the damn Picture-Box so I can get me some shut-eye?”

Friday, December 23, 2005

EVIL TIDINGS

Yesterday, I was toiling away in the local outpost of the Great Corporate Salt Mine – now located in Chez Elisson itself! - when, of a sudden, the phone rang. It was my overseer.

The occasional call from the Corporate Overseer is a necessary evil of Big Bidnis Life. As such, I answered the phone with my usual cheery voice.

You know that it’s not going to be a pleasant conversation when Boss-Man’s opening words – after a few perfunctory pleasantries – are “I have some bad news…” Oh, shit, thought I. Evil Tidings are never good, but Evil Tidings from your boss are downright scary.

Hmm. All kinds of possibilities, none of them good.

There’s a problem with my expense account.

I’m being transferred…to Beaumont, Texas.

I need to write a fifty-page PowerPoint presentation by 3:00 pm.

But it was none of these things. It was much worse…

The bad news had to do not with me but with a colleague. Said colleague had, along with his fiancée, gone out to a big holiday dinner the previous evening – one of those black-tie affairs for the benefit of some charitable organization or another. Afterward, they had come back to her townhome, whereupon some twenty-something thug son of a bitch kicked in the door, robbed them, and shot them both down in cold blood. They died on the spot.

The young woman lived in a neighborhood west of downtown Sweat City, a formerly rough part of town that is undergoing a certain amount of gentrification. It’s not very far from where I settled in when I first moved to Houston 31 years ago; it’s also not far from Greenwood Cemetery, where Howard Hughes is buried. Serious crime has not been a big issue there in recent years, but there has been a city-wide upswing in violent crime in recent months. It’s easy to attribute that upswing to the recent influx of Katrina displacees, but there’s probably more to it than that.

Not that the whys and wherefores matter much to my colleague.

It’s purely remarkable how one’s emotions can jump from Huzzah! to Shit! in the space of a nanosecond. The relief at knowing that the bad news had nothing to do with me was instantaneously transformed to grief.

Here was a couple all of four months away from getting married. Here was a guy with a thirteen-year-old daughter by a previous marriage. A guy with whom I had worked closely last year. There was a picture on my credenza not five feet away, a picture taken last December, of the two of us receiving a Great Corporate Salt Mine Global Award for a project we did together.

Gone, in a stupid instant. Gut-shot: a horrible way to die. Did the thug bastard shoot him first? Or did he have to watch as his fiancée was shot in the face?

Damn. I’ve expounded only recently on the matter of Dodging Bullets. But now it was more than a figure of speech; it was a task, a task at which my friend and his bride-to-be had failed.

O, what a world!

May the souls of my friend and his fiancée be bound up in the bond of life, and may they rest in peace.

CUSTOMER SERVICE

PE Nuts

[Click to embiggen.]

Yes, I drew it with a specific business in mind, but haven’t we all had, at one time or another, one of those “Enough Of This Shit!” moments?