Monday, December 01, 2008


I wish that my room had a floor;
I don’t care so much for a door,
But this walking around
Without touching the ground
Is getting to be quite a bore!

- Gelett Burgess

[Here’s a piece of useless trivia for you: Gelett Burgess coined the word “blurb” in 1907.]

The Missus and I need wish no longer. Soon our room will have a floor. Actually, our whole frickin’ house will have new floors.

The main driver for this project is the need to replace our carpet, which is showing major signs of age. It also does not help that Hakuna likes to scratch and chew the margins, resulting in a lot of places where bare carpet backing is visible.

The Missus is willing to bet that Hakuna will not molest a new, properly installed carpet. We’ll see. If I catch her scratching any spots on the new carpet, we’ll simply have to exile her to the sunroom - which has a hardwood floor.

As long as we’re replacing the old carpet, we’ll also correct a couple of things that have driven us nuts for the past ten years (And it’s a short drive.)

For one thing, except for the area right around the toilet, our master bathroom is carpeted. This is insane, considering the potential for stainage from things like makeup spills...not to mention the moist environment. Tile is the way to go...and that is what we’ll be installing.

Another thing is the dining room. For some completely mysterious reason, the builder installed hardwood in the living room/office and carpeted the dining room, the exact opposite of the way any rational human being would arrange things. The Missus suspects that the flooring contractors simply screwed the pooch, and that nobody cared at the time since the house was built on spec. So you have a room in which the carpet is especially vulnerable to damage from spills, ground-in food, et al.

Not any more. We’re hardwoodin’ that sumbitch, and we’ll stick an area rug under the dining room table.

When those new floors arrive, first thing I’m gonna do is take off my shoes and walk around barefoot, digging my toes into that nice, new pile and feeling that cushy padding. No. Second thing. First thing will be to wash my feet.

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