POSSIBLE (BUT UNLIKELY) SEQUELS TO “MENOPAUSE, THE MUSICAL”

[Being yet another piece rejected by Timothy McSweeney’s “Lists” section. Assholes.]

Meningitis, the Miniseries

Pancreatitis, the Play

Orchitis, the Opera

Sinusitis, the Sitcom

Diverticulosis, the Dialogue

Hemorrhoids, the Happening

Colonoscopy, the Colloquy

Erectile Dysfunction, the Educational Video

Alzheimer’s, the... the... what were we talking about?