A MODEST PROPOSAL

Morris William, the younger of SWMBO’s two brothers, works as a property manager for an apartment complex in Dallas. One day, after a particularly heinous day, he called his sister to relate a hellish story.

It seems that the police needed him to get access to a certain apartment. That’s never good news – who knows what kind of horror show you’re going to find? To make matters worse, he had to accompany them as they entered the apartment, so he was going to have to Deal With Something Unpleasant – but what it was, he had no idea. He soon found out.

When they entered the apartment, they were greeted by a horrendous stench – and by a completely cracked-out young woman who was holding a bundle. Inside the bundle was a baby, all of two weeks old, who had apparently been born two months premature.

Astonishingly, the baby was still alive.

The police grabbed the baby and made preparations to take it to the hospital. Morris William asked the mother – still zoned out – the baby’s name.

“Her name is Jennifer.” The mother croaked out the words, then began to weep quietly.

The stench was tracked down to its source: a box in the corner of the living room, wherein sat the discarded two-week-old placenta.

I know Morris William, and I am convinced (as is She Who Must Be Obeyed) that had the police not been there, he would have taken that baby right to the hospital, then into his home. But the police were there.

It’s anybody’s guess as to how long it will be before the courts, stupid as they are in these matters, return that poor child to its crack-addled mother.

My own Modest Proposal - in this case and in similar cases - is that the mother be immediately sterilized. If you can’t be trusted with one tiny human being, why should you have the opportunity to create another?

“Of course, that’s my opinion – I could be wrong” is the standard Dennis Miller postscript. And if you think I’m wrong, tell me why in the comments…and then go sit on a tack.