MORE USELESS FACTOIDS

This is not really a blogmeme, but it might as well be one. I snagged it from Sharon, who got it from an e-mail. Anyway, here are my answers. Feel free to come up with your own!

1. What time do you get up? Weekdays, about 6:00. Weekends, maybe as late as 7:00. Miss Matata’s hairy ass ensures that we humans shall not sleep any longer than is necessary.
2. If you could eat lunch with one person, who would it be? If I couldn’t talk about growing up in the ’hood with Jerry Seinfeld, I’d love to take lunch with The Famously Constipated Dooce™, if only to watch her eat plenty of fiber and then be unable to turn it to account.
3. Gold or silver? I like both. But gold is nice and heavy, and doesn’t tarnish.
4. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? The SpongeBob Squarepants Movie. Really. And with no little kid(s) in tow. Come to think of it, words like “film” and “cinema” really are a bit overreaching when it comes to the ’Bobster.
5. What is/are your favorite TV show(s)? I don’t spend a lot of time watching TV, but I love Scrubs, Cold Case, Medium, and The Venture Brothers. Of course, the Simpsons are in a class by themselves, but I rarely catch ’em on the first run.
6. What did you have for breakfast? Baked (i.e., kippered) salmon, wrapped up with raw onion in Romaine lettuce leaves. Mini “everything” bagel, innards scooped out and toasted, lightly buttered. Coffee.
7. Who would you hate to be stuck in a room with? Anyone who takes this “meme” shit too seriously.
8. What inspires you? Reading great books. Listening to great music.
9. What is your middle name? Barry. Now that I’ve told you, I’ll have to kill you.
10. Beach, City, or Country? To live or to vacation? Vacation: Beach. City. Country. Live: City. Beach. Country. Wait - do the ’burbs count as “City” or Country”?
11. Favorite ice cream? In no particular order: My homemade Blackberry Sage Tea Ice Cream. Green Tea. Ben & Jerry’s Wavy Gravy. Coffee. Fuck - pretty much any ice cream, as long as it doesn’t have strawberries or nuts.
12. Butter, plain, or salted popcorn? Gawd forgive me, real butter and salt.
13. What color is your bathroom? Well I know there’s white, blue, green and red. Some stripes are involved. I just wash up and crap there; don’t ask me to be the decorator, too.
14. Favorite color? No such thing. My favorite color for a sports car will be different than my favorite color for a kitchen appliance. But you can pretty much rule out avocado.
15. What kind of car do you drive? Chevy Impala. Not that I love the make/model so much, but it’s a company car, so my cost to operate it is minimal.
16. Favorite sandwich? Pastrami and tongue with chopped liver, on rye. Seriously. I just had one last Sunday, except that Ye Local Bagel Emporium was out of tongue, dammit. She Who Must Be Obeyed is horrified by this sandwich, as two of the three components are Meats That Will Not Pass Her Lips.
17. What characteristic do you despise? The ability to despise characteristics.
18. Favorite flower? If you insist, roses. Although that Rafflesia thing - the three-foot-wide Indonesian blossom that smells like rotting meat - might be interesting.
19. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would it be? Depends on who’s paying. Bali, Maui, London, Brussels, Jerusalem - who can say no to any of ’em?
20. Favorite brand of clothing? For shoes, Cole-Haan. For gotkis, Hanes. For shirts, Perry Ellis. For jeans, Levi’s. For suits, Jhane Barnes or whatever the hell strikes my fancy, since there’s no point in pretending I can ever afford a Brioni.
21. Where would you like to retire to? Hawai’i would be nice, but impractical and expensive. How ’bout right here in Atlanta?
22. Favorite day of the week? Saturday, of course. Shabbos!
23. What did you do for your last birthday? Went out and ate too much good food with friends. Probably at one of those Brazilian Meat Factories. Meat - it’s what’s for dinner!
24. Where were you born? Brooklyn, New York. Soitenly!
25. Favorite sport to watch? Golf. Yeah, I know, it’s a little like watching paint dry. But I don’t give a rat’s ass about 99.9% of televised sports.
26. What fabric detergent do you use? Unscented Tide. Gets those bloodstains and that pesky gunshot residue out - and with cold water, too!

[Honestly, do you really give a crap about all this?]