Tuesday, June 26, 2007

DEAD MEAT: A 100-WORD OBITUARY

Evans RIP

Sausage lovers throughout America were saddened to hear of the recent death of Bob Evans, Ohio breakfast meat icon and restauranteur.

Evans, founder of the restaurant chain that bears his name, succumbed to complications from pneumonia. He was being treated at the Cleveland Clinic.

When supplies of quality sausage for his truckstop became scarce, he began making his own, thus laying the groundwork for a meatpacking and casual dining empire. Employees credited the enterprise’s rapid growth to Evans’s sage advice.

The family plans a private funeral at which Evans’s remains will be ground up and stuffed into a sausage-shaped casket.

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