Wednesday, December 06, 2006


It was on our flight to Washington, D.C. last Friday that She Who Must Be Obeyed and I discovered a new taste sensation.

Mango Vodka.

Specifically, we discovered a snazzy Adult Beverage that Delta is pushing: the Mango Kiss, comprising Finlandia mango vodka, cranberry-apple juice, and a splash of club soda. A lime wedge garnish adds flair...and vitamin C.

SWMBO ordered one just for the hell of it. Well, more properly, she ordered one because she does not enjoy flying, and a little in-flight anesthesia never hurts. She tasted it and her eyes lit up. It was damn tasty!

Just what we need. A pleasantly fruity, innocent-tasting beverage that packs a wallop. Ah, well.

I spent a good chunk of this evening seeking out the ingredients, that we might enjoy a Mango Kiss or two at home...possibly to be followed by a Mango Getting Lucky. Alas, the vodka proved elusive. I will have to resume the search tomorrow.

But while hunting for Mango Vodka, I found something that is even more fascinating.

Skorppio Vodka.

Skorppio is distilled from wheat, but what makes it unique has nothing to do with what it is made from. Wheat, potatoes, old tires - it matters not. Skorppio is of interest mainly because each bottle contains a whole, honkin’ scorpion, complete with sting.

You over there with that bottle of mezcal? The one with the worm - the gusano - laying in the bottom of the bottle? The worm that is ceremonially consumed by the guy who polishes off the bottle? Yeah, you.

You are now officially a Pussy.

Eat that fuckin’ scorpion, Mr. Big Ball-Sack.

Or (as the Skorppio folks recommend) fry it in butter and serve it on a cracker.

Not enough Scorpion Goodness for you? Skorppio sells the scorpions in bottles of 50 (whether marinated in vodka, I cannot say). Perfect for that midnight snack. Or handing out to pesky Trick-or-Treaters. Or as a garnish on the lip of a Martini glass...filled with a tasty Skorppio martini, of course.

I can think of two crazy motherfuckers who would love to find one of these in their Christmas stockings. Oh, yeah.

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