Wednesday, March 29, 2006

SIC SEMPER TYRANNOSAURUS

I don’t always remember my dreams upon awakening, but this morning was one of those mornings that was punctuated by Artifacts of a Perfervid Imagination.

My wake-up call was scheduled for a (late) 6:30, but sometime around 6:15 I began to experience that drifting state of semi-awareness, a sort of twilight sleep. And it’s that sort of sleep that triggers bizarre visions.

I remember wandering around some sort of large ruined building. There were broad pillars located at frequent intervals, pillars for which I was thankful. They were wide enough to hide behind, you see...and I was being stalked.

There was a tyrannosaurus in the building.

Tyrannosaurus Rex
T-Rex: In da house!

Not a big-ass Full-Blown T-Rex. This one was only about 10-12 feet tall, but he was definitely curious. And hungry. And looking for me.

I managed to stay well-hidden behind one pillar after another, always careful to avoid the snap of a stray twig that might betray me.

Then it was that I noticed another mini-Tyrannosaurus on the opposite side of the building’s lower level. This, I saw, would pose a challenge, for I would need to stay hidden from both...and they were in two different places.

It was right about this time that a glimmer of recognition struck me: These beasties looked strangely familiar. What was it about them? Their semi-hunched posture and that Seaweedy-Looking Shit growing along their spines...where had I seen all that before? Why, it was...could it be?...they looked an awful lot like...Godzilla! Mini-Godzillas, they were!

Godzilla

Just as I was beginning to panic - surrounded by Mini-Godzillas! - I realized that I was dreaming, and that it was about time to get my ass out of bed. That damn wake-up call was due, I felt, at any moment...and right then, Room Service tapped on the door to my suite to let me know that my pot of coffee, glass of V-8 juice, and newspaper would be waiting outside for me.

Nothing clears the Mental Cobwebs like a shot of V-8 chased with some jumpstart. Aaahhh.

I breathed a sigh of relief. No dinosaurs chasing me, aside from the ones I would encounter in the normal course of a day’s business at the headquarters of the Great Corporate Salt Mine. And especially not this one...

Barney

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