Sunday, August 16, 2009


Today we have a double-header: Two (count ’em) Jackasses!

Yesterday we were on our way to Midtown with our friends Gary and Joann, in order to visit the Great Big Blue Box. Ikea! Home of inexplicably-named merchandise for the home.

As we sat at a red light in the left-turn lane at the intersection of Northside Drive and 17th Street, Jackass Number One came cruising up in the adjacent lane... suddenly decided that he, too, needed to turn left... and crammed himself in front of us without so much as a howdy-do. Here you see him, sticking out halfway into the intersection...

Jackass du Jour Number One

Such nekulturny behavior warrants a rousing “Fuck You, Buddy!” The bloggy bitch-slap is just a bonus.

On our way home, we were happily tootling along in the HOV lane when Jackass Number Two comes barreling along, trying to shoehorn himself in. Does he merge smoothly into the HOV lane behind us, where there is plenty of room? No, he does not. He crams himself in front of us, despite the fact that he has to accelerate mightily to do so... not to mention the risk of mashing us against the concrete wall to our left.

Jackass du Jour Number Two

You can’t make it out in the picture above, but this douchebag had a Florida plate. Not that that has anything to do with it. You can find jackasses everywhere. And in case you’re curious, I took the picture from the front passenger seat while She Who Must Be Obeyed was driving. You do not want to be snapping photographs while you’re zooming down the freeway... if you did, you’d be a jackass!

Sometimes I wish I had a bullhorn built into the grille of my car, the better to administer a verbal slapdown to these putzes. Not that it would do much good. Maybe a paintball gun would serve my needs better... as long as it didn’t stimulate one of ’em to shoot me with a real gun...

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