[Actually, there are lots more tollbooths on this road, enough to make the Grand Circuit of the City a tad expensive. But since I’m only navigating the northwestern quadrant, no worries.]
At each tollbooth, you have a huge array of lanes to choose from. Regulars take the E-Z Pass lanes and zoom through at 70 MPH. People with adequate supplies of coin use the (plentiful) exact change lanes and lob a handful of quarters in the hopper. And then there’s everyone else, piling into the measly two manned lanes. At peak hours, you will be waiting a long time to get through.
When I’m humping to get to the airport, I like to be ready with exact change in hand. It saves a heap of time, and all it requires is a little advance preparation. But it Ain’t Always That Easy.
Because it’s as predictable as sunrise that there will be at least one schmo-ball in the exact change lane who does not belong there. Like today.
I ease into my lane, smiling, confident. The manned lanes are pack-o, but that’s not my problem. Only a single pickup truck in front of me...
Who stops in the lane, right next to the hopper, and tries to get the attention of the toll-taker in the adjacent lane.
You. Gaping. Asshole.
I think pulling Stupid Shit like that oughta get you an instant $50 fine. Or even better, the toll-taker gets to whack one or two of your taillights with a Louisville Slugger.
The problem, of course, is Texas, a state in which the toll road is still a rara avis. People just have no clue. Even the toll-takers, who are all smiley and friendly, handing you that useless receipt whether you want one or not, telling you to have a nice day. These people need to spend a month in Toll-Boot Camp™ up in New York, where the toll-takers would just as soon take a crap on your windshield as take your money. Or at least, that’s the attitude they project.
In New York, a guy who pulled the “Whoops, I seem to have misplaced my exact change” trick would end up as a grease spot. C’mon, Tex - get on the ball!
[This entry (actually a reasonable facsimile thereof) was guest-posted at pesky’apostrophe thanks to a remarkable