HIGH-TECH AZTEC

The Aztec civilization is underrated. Sure, they weren’t the nicest people. If they captured you in wartime, or if you looked at the wrong person the wrong way, they’d eat your heart. Really.

And what’s with those stupid pyramids, anyway? What, you couldn’t figure out how to make a dodecahedron? Or maybe a Trylon and Perisphere?

No matter. All is forgiven. Because, Aztec Dudes, you gave us chocolate.

Yesterday, I went on a mini-pilgrimage to Ye Olde Granola ’n’ Tofu Shoppe – the organic foods supermarket in Denton, Texas. Yes, there is one. Probably because it’s a university town – I can’t imagine any other market for Vegan Soy Yogurt in the Heart o’ Beef Country. We’re talking about a town where there are longhorn cattle roaming the fields adjacent to the supermarket... which would be a little tough on the cattle if they were capable of understanding their position on the Food Chain:

“Father, what is that building?”

“Son, that is the place we go when we die.”

“Heaven?”

“Yes, son. Heaven. The meat counter at Albertson’s.”

We had gone to the organic market to pick up a few miscellaneous items (it’s not where we buy the lion’s share of our food, trust me) and the Mistress of Sarcasm discovered that they had Dagoba hot chocolate mix. In cans. And they had... Xocolatl.

Oh. My. Sweet. Gawd.

Xocolatl is hot chocolate the way the Aztecs might have prepared it. Dark, bittersweet chocolate. Cinnamon. A little chili pepper to give it a nice burn on the back of the tongue.

Thanks, Aztecs! What’s a few ripped-out hearts between chocolate buddies?

[Update: It’s snowing/sleeting/being generally cold and obnoxious here today. Perfect hot chocolate weather... and even better when you have the kind of hot chocolate that leaves a slow-burning coal of Chili-Driven Heat at the back of your gullet. Mmmm, good. Xocolatl rules!]