Saturday, August 14, 2004

FLY BLOVIATION AIRLINES

Strange thing I’ve noticed. Airline pilots are efficient communicators: they have to be. They don’t waste words in the cockpit. But on the other side of that cockpit door, things are different.

As a veteran business traveler, I’ve heard plenty of in-flight announcements. Once in a rare while, they’re funny. But mostly, they are needlessly verbose.

“We will be landing shortly. Please bring your tray tables to the upright and locked position before landing. Also, please be sure all electronic devices are turned to the off position.”

Tray tables in the upright and locked position? Fine. But as for them other devices, how about “please be sure to turn off all electronic devices”? Why the extra word-bloat? What purpose does it serve? Does it add a veneer of sophistication? Is it a rhetorical device? I can appreciate the parallel construction and all (“upright and locked position” versus “off position”), but is it really necessary?

Emulate the pilots, sez I. All those extra words? Turn ’em to the off position.

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