Thursday, September 08, 2005


She Who Must Be Obeyed and I caught this pleasant little comedy last weekend. It’s a breakthrough for Steve Carell, who plays the titular Virginal Man - great box office, with him in a leading role instead of as a sidekick to Jim Carrey or Will Ferrell.

Uniquely, this movie deals with a physiological condition that, alas, has been given Short Shrift in the modern American cinema. I refer, of course, to Priapic Micturitive Dysfunction, better known as the Dreaded Pee-Boner.

The 40 Year Old Virgin shows us not one, but two instances of the Pee-Boner. Discreetly, of course: there is no visible shaftage, but the engorged boxer shorts tell the tale.

All you ladies need to know is that it is well-nigh impossible to urinate with a Pee-Boner. Attempts to do so usually result in pain and/or urine being sprayed unpredictably around the room. Sitting down to piss - a shameful posture! - solves Problem B but does not alleviate Problem A. The only real solution is to make Bowser lie down and play dead. Thinking of baseball scores, income taxes, or Richard Nixon will usually work to kill the Pee-Boner. (Or any boner, for that matter.)

And you guys already know all you need to know, am I right?

No comments: